Love’s True Attributes

02 Feb 2010 1 Comment

by nataliecorder in Love

With Valentine’s Day coming up, love is not an uncommon subject at this time of year. Sadly, though, love is often misrepresented and either given too much credit in areas it does not deserve or it is not praised enough for the excellent qualities it does possess. Just as a Mocking Bird pretends to be a Chickadee or Cardinal by using their songs, many people profess to have or to practice love and sound very authentic but are in reality, false. In today’s culture love is clouded in mists of myth. True love is hard to define and even harder to find. One must search out the genuine meaning of love which is not an easy task. It is like looking for the first spring flowers under a carpet of leaves and snow. To find the truth one will have to dig deep, but it is hard to dig deeply with only one’s hands. A carefully chosen tool is needed. One of the reasons many do not find true love is because they go looking for it with the wrong tool. They use the heart by which I mean the human emotions. This is an unsuitable tool as is shown in Jeremiah 17:9 (NKJV) – “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can know it?”  The heart is like Caliban, the evil servant of Prospero in Shakespeare’s The Tempest. It plays us false and we cannot rely on it or the emotions it causes us to have. No, a superior tool is needed. One that is trustworthy. The Bible is the Word of God and could be viewed as a manual or road map for the Christian life. While not every point one makes needs to be backed by a specific verse, the values and worldview one expresses by the way he defines anything needs to line up with the values and worldview of Scripture.

So, with that said, let’s dig into the true meaning of love. First of all, let’s look at what love is not. Unlike the common conception, love is not like the tide. Many people think of themselves standing in front of the incoming tide with nothing to hold it back with. They think of themselves being overpowered by the approaching and unstoppable rush of love and engulfed in it as with a huge wave. But love is not an inescapable wall of water bearing down on one. Neither is it like falling in a hole. “Falling in love” is a common term that paints the picture of suddenly finding oneself plummeting down a pit with nothing to stop the descent. Both of these comparisons give the impression that the rush of love cannot be impeded or blocked and that one has nothing to do with being swept away by love. Quite the opposite is true. One can have control over one’s emotions including the emotion of love. This brings us to another point. In the two previous analogies, love is referred to as an emotion. True love, however, is not mere emotion. To call it simply an emotion acquits one of the responsibilities that come with true love. It gives the impression that one can no more defeat love than one could come out victorious from a tug-of-war game with a large African elephant.

In reality, love is not an emotion one has no control over. It is the act of loving. True love is full of sacrifice. It is sharing others’ burdens. (Galatians 6:2) Imagine if one’s friend had to carry a heavy load which was weighing them down. If he came alongside that friend and helped to lift the load, the friend would be relieved. That is love. Suppose one offers to be punished or even to die for his friend. That is love. (John 15:13) When a husband is willing to die and so protect his wife – that is love. But the sacrifice that true love demands and the devotion that is consistent with true love is not often so apparent. It is living every day loving others more than oneself. Sometimes those sacrifices which no one else sees are the most beautiful and precious, like the brilliant coral and brightly colored fish hidden by deep water or like the gold and silver buried beneath the earth. To forgo one’s own desires to consent to another’s wishes is love. Humbleness is one more of love’s attributes. Love is not like a proud peacock strutting about and showing off his fine feathers. (1 Corinthians 13:4) Just as a shrub or tree needs pruning, so love needs to be guided and directed. To be beautiful it must also be refined. Gold must go through many purifying processes before it becomes the gleaming metal so sought after; love also must be purified from all the traits so many try to call love but which are false and impure.  A diamond must be worked on and polished before it appears to be a dazzling stone and love cannot be a brilliant reflection of the Lord’s spotless, pure love unless one refines it. There is but a single tool fitted for the task of refining true love. It is the same tool used to dig deeper into the meaning of love – it is the Word of God. A carpenter is lost without his hammer, a sailor is lost without his compass, a sculpture is lost without his chisel and a Christian is lost with the manual and guide for his walk. That manual is the Scripture. Use it not only to find the meaning of love but to perfect that love so that it reflects the Savior.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, think about love. Think about what words you use to describe love. Think how you display your love. As in Romeo and Juliet, love can be dangerous and cause pain. Shown in Les Miserable, sacrificial love can save a life just as the priest gave Jean Val jean a new reason for living. Love is so much more than boys and girls, husbands and wives. That is only one aspect of love. Try to see beyond the narrow range of vision that the world has told us is all there is. Being able to see only one third of the Mona Lisa would not be very impressive and neither is a view of love through the world’s eyes. Let your view be determined by the Bible. True love is God’s beautiful creation.

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