Principles of Marriage
06 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
in Believers, Divorce, Marriage, sex, Singleness
Last night I was reading 1 Corinthians 7 and thought it would make a very nice blog post. Even though Committed2Purity is mostly for teens and about staying pure, it’s good to have an understanding of Christian marriage even now, when you’re young. Here’s what Paul said about marriages that honor God.
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1 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. 2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.
Paul believes it is better for people not to marry (an idea which he explains more later on) but he realizes that men and women were created to have sex and to be in a relationship with someone of the opposite gender. There is a huge temptation to have sex outside of marriage but when a man and a woman are married, they fulfill each other’s desire for sex and for that special kind of relationship so that they do not need to go looking for it in ungodly relationships.
3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.
When a man and woman marry, they are no longer separate individuals. They are one flesh. Both the husband and the wife now have to be considerate of each other, realizing that they belong to each other.
5Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
Again, there is a huge temptation to be unfaithful. A husband and wife need to not deny each other the privileges of being married or else temptation will have greater force. When a husband feels disrespected and isn’t getting everything he needs from his wife, it is easy for him to start looking elsewhere for it. Likewise, if the wife isn’t getting the love she craves from her husband, she will find it easier to look for it in another place.
8Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
Paul again states that he believes remaining single is better but he does not in any way forbid marriage. If you are able to remain single and not fall into temptation that is great. But, if you crave the special relationship that marriage provides, that is not wrong – that is how we were created – it is totally acceptable, even wonderful, for you to marry.
10To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
Divorce. Paul leaves no doubt that divorce is not an option. Notice that he makes a point to say that it is the Lord, not Paul, that makes this command.
12To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
15But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
These are some guidelines for how to act if you are married to an unbeliever. It does not mean you need to divorce them. If they are okay living with you as a follower of Christ, you should stay married to them. Who knows? You may be able to bring them to Christ!
Now, Paul is not saying for believers to marry unbelievers. If you are a believer, Paul actually says not to marry someone who does not follow Christ. (2 Corinthians 6:14) The above verses are talking about if you became a believer after you had been married.
25Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
In Paul’s time, Christians were being cruelly persecuted. Many have wondered if Paul, in this passage, is cautioning people not to marry because of that crisis. If a man and woman married at this time, they could very easily have had to witness their spouse’s death. Authorities might use husbands’ or wives’ safety to get their spouses to do something or even to renounce Christ. For Christians, it would have been a difficult time to be married. But even though we do not face persecution today (at least not in America), being married can still pose difficulties. Being married is not easy. Paul is warning his readers that the married life is not a rose garden.
32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
Instead of looking at being single as being without a husband or wife, we should look at singleness as being completely focused and in love with Jesus. Paul knows that it is possible for a man to love Jesus and love his wife and for a wife to love Jesus and love her husband, but he wants to point out that when a person is married, they cannot love and serve God with the complete devotion that they could if they were single. It’s definitely something to think long and hard about before you enter marriage.
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This is a beautiful passage of Scripture and I encourage you to read all of it, since I did leave out a few verses. There are also many other passages in the Bible about marriage. God is so good to have created such a wonderful thing as marriage for His children to enjoy.
nataliecorder
