Faithfulness
06 Dec 2010 Leave a Comment
in Believers, Divorce, Faithfulness, Love, Marriage
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
(I Corinthians 7:10-11)
For a spouse to remain faithful even when their husband or wife is unfaithful – that is not only unusual, but it goes against human nature. To love unconditionally, to remain faithful no matter what – that requires a supernatural form of love. This is exactly the kind of love Jesus has for us. Even when we were unfaithful to Him, he still loved us. He even died for us. He left his home in heaven to live in some of the worst poverty on earth. He left his glory to become a common man. All of this He did because He loves us. The gospel message is the ultimate love story. A story of faithfulness.
In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul apparently wants to make it clear that Christian marriages are to posses that same kind of love and faithfulness. First of all, notice in verse 10 (above) that Paul says this commandment he is about to give is not from him. It is from the Lord. This is very different from what Paul says in verse 12 when he tells the Corinthians that the second commandment is from him not from the Lord. Obviously, because Paul was so close to God, he had great wisdom and we would be wise to heed what he wrote. But what he says beginning in verse 12 is able to be debated. In stark contrast, verses 10 and 11 (above) are the Word of God and there is no room for debate. I think this is very important to take note of. Paul obviously wanted to emphasis the fact that what he writes in verses 10 and 11 is non-negotiable. There is no room for debate. It is the Word of God.
“A wife must not divorce her husband but (take note of that word) if she does, she is to remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.” That word ‘but’ is extremely important. You see, even though God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) there are times when it is necessary – as in cases where abuse is involved. In Biblical times, women really weren’t free to choose their husbands. They were bound by legal regulations, social status and their family’s wishes. But if a woman found herself in a dangerous relationship, there was a way out. Divorce. As is the case today, I’m sure many women tried to use this as a way to get out of their marriages even if they had honorable husbands. They would see younger, perhaps more ‘exciting’ men and they would begin to want to be ‘free’ of their marriage vows. But notice that once a woman divorced her husband she was not able to marry again. She could be reconciled to her husband, but she was not free to marry another man.
There is something very interesting I noticed about the next verse. Whereas the Lord gives an exception when he tells the women they cannot divorce their husbands, he does not give an exception to the men. I believe this is because women are weaker and if their husbands are abusive they need the ability to leave for the safety of themselves and their children. But men do not need to fear physical harm from their wives. When a man marries his wife, he promises to remain faithful to her. He made his choice. He chose who he wanted to be his bride. Now he must stand by that decision.
“So, you mean, I only get one change at marriage and one chance at happiness in a relationship?” Exactly. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. One man and one woman bound together in marriage. Thankfully, today we are not bound by social status (for the most part) or by legal regulations. We are free to chose who we will marry. It is up to us to choose wisely. Apparently, many people do not chose so wisely. So what about all the people who have terrible marriages or abusive spouses? Do they not get a second chance at love? These are questions that, to be honest, still confuse me. We live in a messed up world. Many marriages today are messed up. I believe that is because we have stopped following God’s guidelines for holy matrimony. God created marriage, then he gave a manual (the Bible) so that marriage could be as wonderful as possible. But we threw away the manual, or conveniently changed it to match our own selfish desires. And look where that got us. It’s hard to know what to say about marriages and divorces that are already so messed up. I really don’t know. I don’t have the answers. But I believe that if we start living by God’s standards again, if we pick up His manual for marriage and start following it, we will see great changes in Christian marriages.
Teens, this is your chance. Our generation has the chance to change this mess around. If we start following the Lord’s principals for matrimony and learning his instructions about it even before we are married, then we will have a solid foundation on which to build our marriages. Our marriages will be Christ-centered. And they will last because they are built on the Word of God.
As one of the men at church always tells my little brother, “Be faithful. Be faithful to your future spouse. You be faithful.” Rely on God to give you this supernatural form of love.
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I encourage you to read the story of Hosea and Gomer (found in the book of Hosea in the Bible). A wonderful story of a husband’s faithfulness even when his wife is unfaithful, it is also a beautiful allegory of Christ’s love for us.
nataliecorder
