Pure Beauty

I Promise…

12 Jul 2010 2 Comments

by nataliecorder in Believers, Divorce, eyes, journaling, Love, Marriage, Needs, Prayer

In the back of my Love Journal I’ve begun to write down some of the things I want to include in my wedding vows. Below are the ones I have so far, along with the reasons I feel these promises are important. These aren’t necessarily in order of importance but just a compilation.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

* I promise to respect you.

Guys crave respect. They seek it. Just like women crave love and affection. I know how badly I want to be loved so I want to make sure I fulfill my husband’s need to be respected.

* I promise to spend activity time with you doing things shoulder to shoulder.

Too often I focus on the romance side of love. When we have time face to face. But spending time with my husband doing things together will bring us closer. We will be working side by side. Shoulder to shoulder is how guys usually bond – not face to face. They grow closer through doing things. I want to be sure and give my husband quality time by bonding in this way.

* I promise to hold my tongue when I see you can’t handle it, even when this is hard for me.

I’m the kind of person who will usually spew out all my anger or frustration with words. But if my husband comes home after a bad day of work, I need to be willing to hold back from putting more burden on him by telling him how frustrated I am about this or that. It doesn’t mean I hold it inside and let it simmer but I do need to be loving about when to tell him all about it. Sometimes, I’ll have to realize that it’s just to much for him to handle at that time.

* I promise to pray every day with you so our marriage stays Christ-centered.

If our focus isn’t on the Lord, our marriage will fall apart. By praying together we will not only grow closer to Jesus, we will grow closer to each other.

* I promise to love and respect you when we grow old.

No matter how many wrinkles, no matter how much gray hair, no matter how feeble my husband gets I will give him all my love and all my respect. Just because we grow old does not mean my commitment to him will change.

* I promise never to put you down or be disrespectful to you with my words or actions when we are in front of others.

Nothing hurts a man worse than to be humiliated in front of others, especially by his wife. I want others to know I support my husband 100%. I don’t want to have others hear me criticize or be disrespectful to him. He should always be confident that I am for him all the way.

* I promise never to divorce you except on biblical grounds.

Divorce is not an option for me. There are some biblical grounds for divorce such as adultery (Matthew 5:32). Even then, though, divorce is not necessarily the answer. When I commit myself to my husband I am committing for life. No matter what struggles, arguments or disagreements we have, I promise to remain faithful to him.

* I promise to honor your decisions.

A husband is the head of the household. While I expect to be involved in the decisions he makes, ultimately, I will honor what my husband decides. Ephesians 5:22 -24.

*  I promise to have eyes only for you and to remain faithful to you in thought, deed and word.

From the day we say our wedding vows I belong to my husband and he belongs to me. I will give everything to my husband. Which means I will not give any part of myself to another man. My passion and love (marital love) will only be directed towards my husband. My heart is his.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Now, some of you might think those are impossible promises and that no one is able to fulfill them. I know I will probably fall short of these at times but I know they are not impossible. I know because every day I see my Mom living these promises out to my Dad. Not that she fulfills them perfectly all the time, but their marriage is stronger because she tries her best to do all the things listed above (and more). It’s not impossible. It’s hard. But it’s not impossible. I’m willing to commit to these promises when I am married. Are you?

Also, I realize these are all from the wife’s perspective. I know my Dad fulfills his promises to my Mom – such as his promise to love her, to provide for her, and to spend face to face time with her, just to name a few. Guys, if you have other promises you hope to include in your wedding vows one day, I’d love to hear them.