As this is the first post on the new blog, I’d like to get to know you. What are your favorite summer outfits? Do you have a favorite brand or style?

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Instead of writing a few paragraphs in this section as I intend to in later posts, I thought it would be good to post this video – Sing Me a Love Song (“Chantez-moi une chanson d’amour” in French) by BarlowGirl – which I found very powerful. So, I’ll not say anything more for now and just let the song speak.

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And to begin our discussions on true beauty here is this blog’s theme verse:

^{I Peter:3-4} Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

Just to let you know, as I said, the direction and purpose of this blog is changing. I will be keeping all of the posts I’ve already done on here. You can access them at any time. However, whereas before this blog was about purity, relationships, and true love the NEW blog is going to be geared towards the ladies (teens and 20-somethings) and will be all about purity, fashion, true beauty and falling in love with Jesus. I chose the name ‘Pure Beauty’ not meaning ‘absolute beauty’ or ‘purely beauty’ – I hope it conveys the message of this blog, that beauty, true beauty in the Lord’s eyes, is a pure heart devoted to Him.

I’m super excited about what the Lord is going to do through this blog. Ladies, I hope you are too. In every post there will be three things: A section all about fashion (because I haven’t met a girl yet who didn’t love fashion), a bit about self-esteem (seems to be a major problem these days. We’ll search Jesus’s love letters to us to find out who HE says we are), and some thoughts on true beauty according to the Bible. What do you think? Sound like fun? I’d love to meet you here and I hope you feel free to comment and get involved.

Blessings!

To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband.  But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

(I Corinthians 7:10-11)

For a spouse to remain faithful even when their husband or wife is unfaithful – that is not only unusual, but it goes against human nature. To love unconditionally, to remain faithful no matter what – that requires a supernatural form of love. This is exactly the kind of love Jesus has for us. Even when we were unfaithful to Him, he still loved us. He even died for us. He left his home in heaven to live in some of the worst poverty on earth. He left his glory to become a common man. All of this He did because He loves us. The gospel message is the ultimate love story. A story of faithfulness.

In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul apparently wants to make it clear that Christian marriages are to posses that same kind of love and faithfulness. First of all, notice in verse 10 (above) that Paul says this commandment he is about to give is not from him. It is from the Lord. This is very different from what Paul says in verse 12 when he tells the Corinthians that the second commandment is from him not from the Lord. Obviously, because Paul was so close to God, he had great wisdom and we would be wise to heed what he wrote. But what he says beginning in verse 12 is able to be debated. In stark contrast, verses 10 and 11 (above) are the Word of God and there is no room for debate. I think this is very important to take note of. Paul obviously wanted to emphasis the fact that what he writes in verses 10 and 11 is non-negotiable. There is no room for debate. It is the Word of God.

“A wife must not divorce her husband but (take note of that word) if she does, she is to remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.” That word ‘but’ is extremely important. You see, even though God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) there are times when it is necessary – as in cases where abuse is involved. In Biblical times, women really weren’t free to choose their husbands. They were bound by legal regulations, social status and their family’s wishes. But if a woman found herself in a dangerous relationship, there was a way out. Divorce. As is the case today, I’m sure many women tried to use this as a way to get out of their marriages even if they had honorable husbands. They would see younger, perhaps more ‘exciting’ men and they would begin to want to be ‘free’ of their marriage vows. But notice that once a woman divorced her husband she was not able to marry again. She could be reconciled to her husband, but she was not free to marry another man.

There is something very interesting I noticed about the next verse. Whereas the Lord gives an exception when he tells the women they cannot divorce their husbands, he does not give an exception to the men. I believe this is because women are weaker and if their husbands are abusive they need the ability to leave for the safety of themselves and their children. But men do not need to fear physical harm from their wives. When a man marries his wife, he promises to remain faithful to her. He made his choice. He chose who he wanted to be his bride. Now he must stand by that decision.

“So, you mean, I only get one change at marriage and one chance at happiness in a relationship?” Exactly. That’s the way it’s supposed to be. One man and one woman bound together in marriage. Thankfully, today we are not bound by social status (for the most part) or by legal regulations. We are free to chose who we will marry. It is up to us to choose wisely. Apparently, many people do not chose so wisely. So what about all the people who have terrible marriages or abusive spouses? Do they not get a second chance at love? These are questions that, to be honest, still confuse me. We live in a messed up world. Many marriages today are messed up. I believe that is because we have stopped following God’s guidelines for holy matrimony. God created marriage, then he gave a manual (the Bible) so that marriage could be as wonderful as possible. But we threw away the manual, or conveniently changed it to match our own selfish desires. And look where that got us. It’s hard to know what to say about marriages and divorces that are already so messed up. I really don’t know. I don’t have the answers. But I believe that if we start living by God’s standards again, if we pick up His manual for marriage and  start following it, we will see great changes in Christian marriages.

Teens, this is your chance. Our generation has the chance to change this mess around. If we start following the Lord’s principals for matrimony and learning his instructions about it even before we are married, then we will have a solid foundation on which to build our marriages. Our marriages will be Christ-centered. And they will last because they are built on the Word of God.

As one of the men at church always tells my little brother, “Be faithful. Be faithful to your future spouse. You be faithful.” Rely on God to give you this supernatural form of love.

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I encourage you to read the story of Hosea and Gomer (found in the book of Hosea in the Bible). A wonderful story of a husband’s faithfulness even when his wife is unfaithful, it is also a beautiful allegory of Christ’s love for us.

I’m a very visual person, I’ll be honest. Seeing a large amount of skin catches my attention immediately. And most people would look. It’s not necessarily wrong to get your head turned by something like that. What’s wrong is keeping your gaze there. We’re supposed to flee temptation, not feed our minds with more. But more on that in another post.

Our culture today has greatly deceived both men and women. It appears to be a common belief that the more you ‘show off’ the more you get noticed and the more you get noticed the more important you are. Women especially buy into this lie. Believe me. I struggle with this. I know other girls and women do too. As we buy into this lie we start believing that our only worth comes from how much we get noticed. Everyone wants to have worth. Women seem to desire this a great deal. We want to know we’re important. That we’re special. And the world tells us that the only way to know that we have worth is by getting noticed for our bodies.

This lie is degrading. When we really think about it, what the world is telling us as women is that our worth is only determined by our bodies and whether we are beautiful or sexy enough to get noticed.  It’s telling us that nothing else about us is of worth. Only our bodies. Forget who we are. Forget our individual personalities. All we are worth is what we look like. That is what our society tells us.

How terrible for the girls who don’t get noticed by guys. According to society’s standards, those girls have little or no worth. According to God’s standards however, each of those girls is precious.  They are made in His image and have immeasurable worth. We need to tear away the lies that society forces on us and see those girls for who they are. Beautiful, important people who have worth.

And now,what about the girls who do get noticed? My mom often says, ‘Beauty is a curse.’  ‘Yeah, right,’ you might say. ‘Only people without beauty say that.’ Beauty isn’t evil but it can be used the wrong way.  I want to ask the women who make guys turn their heads by showing off as much as they can, ‘At the end of the day, do you feel worth more because of all the stares and cat-calls? Do you feel important because you can make a man turn and stare? Do you really want a man to rate your worth according to how you look?” Some of them might say they do feel important and worth more. I can even understand this. There have been times that guys have paid extra attention to me instead of to the other girls in the room. I felt that I had somehow won. That I was better that the others. But these feelings only lasted a little while. I realized that those guys were only interested in the superficial part of me. Then I was angry. “I am so much more than a ‘cute face’ or ‘well-shaped body’,” I thought. “I am a person. A special person. Someone who God made and who is defined by more than my outward looks.” You see, when a guy who doesn’t know me starts paying attention to me, it’s actually offensive to me. Don’t get me wrong, I still battle with wanting to be noticed for the superficial – it’s hard to break a mindset that has been force-fed you your entire life. But when I really think about it, I want to be admired and noticed for who I am. And I don’t need to look like a model and turn heads to feel worth more. My identity is in Christ.

Women who show off their bodies are really only degrading themselves. Sure, it might get guys’ attention, but is that really a worthy goal? Is it really worth all the time, all the lost modesty, to gain mens’ stares so that we can feel better than the other girls? We are worth more than just our superficial outward looks. We are special individuals. Our identity is in Christ.

Obviously there isn’t a simple answer or an easy solution. It would do no good to point fingers. But something is seriously wrong with Christian marriages if they are falling apart so quickly. The fortress of marriage is being attacked and taken. Marriages are ending in divorce so often that for nearly every wedding I go to or hear of, I end up wondering, “So, how long will this one last?” Several years ago I attended a beautiful wedding, probably the most gorgeous and touching wedding I’ve ever been to. To me it was just like a fairy tale and I was sure that a knight and his lady who got a great start like this were sure to live happily ever after. A few months ago I learned that this couple was divorced. “But it was a Christian marriage!” I thought. “They took their marriage vows before God. The pastor doing their wedding gave one of the best ‘sermons’ on marriage I have ever heard! What went wrong?”

I’m not claiming to know all about the problem of divorce. I’m not claiming to have an answer to the problem. But something is terribly wrong in Christian marriages. I believe part of the problem is unfaithfulness. I’m not talking about sexual unfaithfulness alone. I mean unfaithfulness of the heart. One of the men in our church is one of my little brother’s small group leaders. He is always telling Reuben, “Be faithful. You be faithful to your wife when you marry. Be faithful even before you get married. Be faithful.” This is really starting to impact my 12 year old brother. He’s beginning to understand what it means to be faithful and why it is so important.

I view faithfulness as closely related to honor. Honor is a quality trait that is quickly becoming extinct in our society. People are more concerned with what is best for them than what is the honorable thing to do. Honor is standing up for what’s right even when it’s hard. Even when you get nothing out of it. Faithfulness is remaining true to what’s right even when it’s hard. Even when you get nothing out of it. Faithfulness is one of the major ingredients to a good marriage.

But even more important that faithfulness to a spouse is faithfulness to God. When the Lord is first in our life, first in our marriage, first in our hearts, we will find the key to a good marriage.

The whole answer to the problem of broken Christian marriages cannot be spoon-fed to you. You have to look for it. In God’s Word. Most importantly, you have to seek the Lord Himself with all your heart. When we put Jesus on the throne of our hearts, He will give us the wisdom we need to seek out the answer. This terrible epidemic of divorce and broken marriages cannot be stopped by a blogger blogging about purity. It cannot be stopped by speakers trying to give marriage counseling. It cannot be stopped by a TV program or magazine article. It can only be stopped as individual people are willing to put time and effort into saving their marriages. It’s up to you. Are you going to defend the fortress of Christian marriage? Or are you going to stand by and see it crumble? It’s up to you.

What is true beauty? Beauty is an extremely popular topic in our society. Every girl wants to be beautiful. Whatever a girl’s definition of beauty is, she wants to fulfill it and feel beautiful. Unfortunately, most girls’ definition of beauty is shaped by what they see in magazines, on billboards, and on TV. This results in them having a very unrealistic view of beauty. They try to live up to this definition of beauty and either fall short of it, greatly damaging their self-image, or are able to attain their definition of beauty to their satisfaction, making them think of themselves as much better and more beautiful than they really are. Either way, true beauty is completely forgotten in an attempt to live up to the world’s superficial beauty.

Looking for a good definition of true beauty can be difficult. There are so many different ideas about the subject. Let’s take a look at some people’s thoughts on it.

A lot of emphasis is placed on the shallow, superficial form of beauty, as is shown in the quotes below. Sadly, heads are more often turned by mere outward beauty than by a girl’s character. Physically beautiful people will rarely be short of friends.

Beauty is a good letter of introduction.

–Portuguese Proverb

Beauty is everywhere a welcome guest.

–Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Personal beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of reference.

–Aristotle

Even though outward beauty is highly praised, many people think that to be truly beautiful, a girl has to have more than outward looks.  They have different ideas about what exactly it is that completes beauty, but all these people agree that physical beauty alone is not beauty.

Beauties in vain their pretty eyes may roll; charms strike the sight, but merit wins the soul.

—Alexander Pope

Beauty, unaccompanied by virtue, is as a flower without perfume.

– French Proverb

How goodness heightens beauty!

–Hannah More

There are no better cosmetics than a severe temperance and purity, modesty and humility, a gracious temper and calmness of spirit; and there is no true beauty without the signatures of these graces in the very countenance.

–John Ray

There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness.

–Marguerite Gardiner Blessington

Taking joy in living is a woman’s best cosmetic.
– Rosalind Russell

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.
– Kahlil Gibran

There are a few people who even seem to believe that beauty is evil. Socrates said, “Beauty is a short-lived tyranny.” Others view beauty as not necessarily evil, but not exactly good and see it as something that is very short-lived.

Beauty is but a vain and doubtful good; a shining gloss that fadeth suddenly; a flower that dies when it begins to bud; a doubtful good, a gloss, a glass, a flower, lost, faded, broken, dead within an hour. –

–William Shakespeare

Remember if you marry for beauty, thou bindest thyself all thy life for that which perchance, will neither last nor please thee one year: and when thou hast it, it will be to thee of no price at all.

–Sir Walter Raleigh

Some people admit that beauty is only ‘skin deep’ but at the same time think that beauty is a great asset. They know physical beauty is not everything, but they also know that it can be very useful.

Beauty is an outward gift, which is seldom despised, except by those to whom it has been refused.

–Edward Gibbon

Beauty is only skin deep, but it’s a valuable asset if you’re poor or haven’t any sense.

–Kin Hubbard

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

–Oscar Wilde

Then there are the people who believe that a girl can make herself more beautiful and by ‘beautiful’ they don’t mean just physical. By going through trials or by improving a character trait, they believe a woman can enhance her beauty.

Pretty is something you’re born with. But beautiful, that’s an equal opportunity adjective.
– Author Unknown

The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.
– Elizabeth Kubler Ross

You can take no credit for beauty at sixteen. But if you are beautiful at sixty, it will be your soul’s own doing.
– Marie Stopes

But these are not the only views on beauty. Here are others’ thoughts on the topic:

Trust not too much to an enchanting face.

–Virgil

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.
– Confucius

The difference between pretty and beautiful is-pretty is temporal-whereas beautiful is eternal.
– Author Unknown

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you NOT to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel unsure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
– Marianne Williamson

With all these different ideas about beauty, how are we supposed to get a good definition of it? Some of these definitions we might agree with. Some we might think totally wrong. But what should we base our definition of beauty on? Well, if we are Christians, before we look anywhere else, we should look at what the Bible has to say. Instead of letting other peoples’ ideas influence our own, we should make sure our ideas match up with God’s Word.

Our society’s view of beauty is so warped. I believe one of the reasons girls get into bad relationships is because they are trying to prove to themselves that they are beautiful. See, we equate physical beauty with worth and when a girl doesn’t feel beautiful, she thinks she is worth less. And when her view of beauty is the unachievable view the media gives her of unrealistically gorgeous models, how can she ever hope to reach a point where she considers herself beautiful? I think it’s time girls realized what true beauty really is so that they realize they are beautiful.

So, let’s take a look at what the Bible says about beauty. First of all, God is not as concerned with the outward looks as He is about the heart. We too, should pay more attention to inward beauty than to outward beauty.

^{I Samuel 16:7} But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

The apostle Peter explained to the women in the church, that not only does a good character complete physical beauty, it is more important.

^{1 Peter 3:3}Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

God’s Word never says that beauty is evil. The Lord created beauty. But physical beauty should not be used for evil. The whole Bible, but especially the book of Proverbs, denounces men and women who use their physical beauty to seduce others. But it also makes it clear that not everyone who is physically beautiful uses their beauty for evil. Queen Esther was very beautiful, beautiful enough to be chosen queen from hundreds of other women. She used her position to accomplish good instead of using her beauty for wrong purposes. Abraham’s wife, Sarah, was another woman who didn’t flaunt her beauty.

I have had many girls tell me that they aren’t beautiful but God believes every person He made is special. He carefully created each person. God doesn’t make mistakes. Would you tell a painter that the painting he has spent months creating is ugly? No, of course not. Even if it was, it would be a huge insult to him. Unlike a human painter, God never makes anything ugly. For a girl to say she is ugly is like insulting God’s craftsmanship. Just because you don’t look like the supermodel in the magazine does not mean you are ugly. God created you and He thinks you are beautiful.

^{Psalm 139:13-14} For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Physical beauty will not last. The Bible is very clear on that point and we know this is true. Beautiful young girls become wrinkled old women. That is why we need to have a truer view of beauty. True beauty never grows old. It can only grow more brilliant as we develop it.

^{Proverbs 31:30} Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

This true beauty isn’t about what we look like. It’s about who we are and what we do. Notice what Jesus says here:

^{Matthew 26:10-11}Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me.

Notice how He said “a beautiful thing”? This woman had true beauty because she was serving Jesus. Through her actions she was bring glory to Him. Her character was beautiful and when a girl’s character is beautiful, it shines through and makes all of her beautiful. That’s the kind of beauty that lasts. That’s the kind of beauty that matters.

So, after all these quotes here’s my own to sum up this very lengthy post:

Forget what the media tells you. Beauty really isn’t about your complexion, your hair, your lips, your eyes or your figure. True beauty is about your character and about being a reflection of Jesus.

Last night I was reading 1 Corinthians 7 and thought it would make a very nice blog post. Even though Committed2Purity is mostly for teens and about staying pure, it’s good to have an understanding of Christian marriage even now, when you’re young. Here’s what Paul said about marriages that honor God.

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1 Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. 2 But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.

Paul believes it is better for people not to marry (an idea which he explains more later on) but he realizes that men and women were created to have sex and to be in a relationship with someone of the opposite gender. There is a huge temptation to have sex outside of marriage but when a man and a woman are married, they fulfill each other’s desire for sex and for that special kind of relationship so that they do not need to go looking for it in ungodly relationships.

³The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. ⁴The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.

When a man and woman marry, they are no longer separate individuals. They are one flesh. Both the husband and the wife now have to be considerate of each other, realizing that they belong to each other.

⁵Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ⁶I say this as a concession, not as a command. ⁷I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

Again, there is a huge temptation to be unfaithful. A husband and wife need to not deny each other the privileges of being married or else temptation will have greater force. When a husband feels disrespected and isn’t getting everything he needs from his wife, it is easy for him to start looking elsewhere for it. Likewise, if the wife isn’t getting the love she craves from her husband, she will find it easier to look for it in another place.

⁸Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. ⁹But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Paul again states that he believes remaining single is better but he does not in any way forbid marriage. If you are able to remain single and not fall into temptation that is great. But, if you crave the special relationship that marriage provides, that is not wrong – that is how we were created – it is totally acceptable, even wonderful, for you to marry.

¹⁰To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. ¹¹But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

Divorce. Paul leaves no doubt that divorce is not an option. Notice that he makes a point to say that it is the Lord, not Paul, that makes this command.

¹²To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. ¹³And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. ¹⁴For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

¹⁵But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. ¹⁶How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

These are some guidelines for how to act if you are married to an unbeliever. It does not mean you need to divorce them. If they are okay living with you as a follower of Christ, you should stay married to them. Who knows? You may be able to bring them to Christ!

Now, Paul is not saying for believers to marry unbelievers. If you are a believer, Paul actually says not to marry someone who does not follow Christ. (2 Corinthians 6:14) The above verses are talking about if you became a believer after you had been married.

²⁵Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. ²⁶Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. ²⁷Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. ²⁸But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

In Paul’s time, Christians were being cruelly persecuted. Many have wondered if Paul, in this passage, is cautioning people not to marry because of that crisis. If a man and woman married at this time, they could very easily have had to witness their spouse’s death. Authorities might use husbands’ or wives’ safety to get their spouses to do something or even to renounce Christ. For Christians, it would have been a difficult time to be married. But even though we do not face persecution today (at least not in America), being married can still pose difficulties. Being married is not easy. Paul is warning his readers that the married life is not a rose garden.

³²I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. ³³But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— ³⁴and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. ³⁵I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

Instead of looking at being single as being without a husband or wife, we should look at singleness as being completely focused and in love with Jesus. Paul knows that it is possible for a man to love Jesus and love his wife and for a wife to love Jesus and love her husband, but he wants to point out that when a person is married, they cannot love and serve God with the complete devotion that they could if they were single. It’s definitely something to think long and hard about before you enter marriage.

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This is a beautiful passage of Scripture and I encourage you to read all of it, since I did leave out a few verses. There are also many other passages in the Bible about marriage. God is so good to have created such a wonderful thing as marriage for His children to enjoy.

I almost started crying right there in the library. Not only are young teens having sex, they are having babies and have no idea how to be parents. These kids often don’t have role models themselves. Their parents either aren’t involved or aren’t even in the picture. How are these teens supposed to be good parents? They didn’t have good parents, chances are they won’t be good parents and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to deduce that the baby will follow suit. In just a few short years there’s suddenly a generation of young people without parental guidance or love who are trying their best to make sense of the world. Who’s telling them what’s right and wrong? Who are they listening to?

When a guy and girl have a baby (and that’s considering the girl doesn’t get an abortion) what’s keeping the guy around? Hopefully, he’d do the honorable thing and marry the girl but there’s no promises. There’s no commitment. And because they aren’t married when they find out the girl’s pregnant, she is not really under any obligation to ask the guy’s opinion. Should she get an abortion? Should she put the baby up for adoption? Should she keep it? That decision ends up being hers. Neither one of the parents is committed to each other.

There has to be commitment. I cannot stress this enough. Just being in love is not commitment. Being in love does not last. Commitment lasts. When two people live together without being married, what’s keeping the one from walking out on the other? Nothing. What says either has to take responsibility for their child? Nothing. What keeps them loving each other? Nothing. Being in love does not make a couple committed. Being committed makes a couple in love (true love). Marriage is commitment. Marriage is promising to be true to the other person.

The world tries to tell us that we can have love and even a family without ‘binding’ ourselves to the other person. The world wants us to believe that it is safer to ‘leave an escape’ if that’s necessary. But those are lies. When we try to have sex outside of marriage we only get pain and regret. Not only to we hurt ourselves, we hurt others. Often, the children born outside of marriage are the ones who suffer. They don’t have the guidance and direction they need because their parents are often only children themselves. Teens don’t need to being having sex. They don’t need to have the burden and responsibilities that come with parenthood.

Teens, we need to stop thinking that we can have whatever we want and that there won’t be consequences. We have to be committed. Our society is a mess but we can change that. We can make a difference by deciding to wait for sex until we’re married. By deciding to be godly husbands and wives. By deciding to be godly parents. We can make a difference by being committed to purity.

A lot of Christians view the word ‘sex’ as dirty and the act of sex as even dirtier. Would it surprise you if I said that I think the word ‘sex’ is beautiful and that I think sex itself is even more beautiful? God made sex. God created Adam and Eve to have sex. After the Bible tells how God created Adam and Eve it says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (Gen. 2:24 – NIV) One flesh. How do a man and woman become one flesh? By having sex. Sex was created to be a beautiful intimacy between one man and one woman. A husband and his wife. But something happened. Sin entered the world and suddenly men and women began to misuse God’s wonderful gift of sex.

A lot of Christians may view sex as dirty but I’m afraid even more don’t treat sex with the respect it deserves. Sure, it’s a beautiful thing, but ONLY when used within biblical guidelines. I hope most Christians would say sex is only okay between a man and woman who are married. You can say that but how many movies do you watch where sex is misused? How many books and TV shows portray sex that violates God’s commands? I realize in our society, sex outside of marriage is not hidden. It’s hard not to see it. In fact, unless you’re very secluded, it’s impossible NOT to see, hear or read about misused sex. But we have to be careful not to let the world’s standards become our own. We also have to guard our hearts. It’s not a matter of whether we will be confronted with sex that is against God’s law. We WILL be confronted with it. Will we be able to remain pure?

Parents, perhaps you don’t realize just how hard this is for us teens. Do you know how easy it is for us to find porn and fill our minds with it? Do you realize that most of the movies and TV shows focus on sex? Do you know that many of our friends have already had sex and aren’t ashamed of it? As a youth leader of mine once said, “we are getting hit up with it” every day. Please encourage us to stay pure in a very impure society. Please stand beside us as we struggle to keep our standards in a world where standards are becoming non-existent.

To my generation – Sex outside of marriage just isn’t worth it. We have to fight for our purity. We have to stand by God’s principals. I know it seems like everyone is doing it. But I’ll let you in on a little secret – every one is NOT doing it. There are hundreds of Christians teens who realize that having sex will not make them more of a man or more of a woman. They realize that having sex outside of marriage is not some initiation into adulthood. Giving in and having sex does not take guts. Standing up for purity does. Sex will only be a beautiful thing if you save it for marriage.

As I wrap this post up let me leave you with a verse and with a challenge.

^“Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit.” 1 Corinthians 6:15-17 (NIV)

Don’t give in. Stand up for purity. Save sex for your marriage so it can be the beautiful act of intimacy it was meant to be.